"Something to Believe In" is by Poison.

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The sunset's delicate rays meandered through the city of Metro. Their rosy-gold fingers caressed a pale face staring hauntingly out a stained window. Tears fell down the smudged face, following a path carved by others of their kind.

In the kitchen, on the empty counter, stood a small radio. A burst of static disrupted the silence, then a saccharine voice, joined by a guitar, sang:

Well I see him on the TV preachin' 'bout the promised land
He tells me to believe in Jesus
And steals the money from my hand
Some say he was a good man
But Lord I think he sinned, yeah

Tom Hanson stared at the radio, uncomprehending. Next to the radio lay his service revolver. Tom picked up the gun, feeling the weight in his slight hand.

Twenty-two years of mental tears
Cries a suicidal Vietnam vet
Who fought a losing war on a foreign shore
To find his country didn't want him back

A shadow flew across his wall, and Tom jumped, aiming the gun at it. The shadow moved again, Hanson following it with the gun. Finally, Tom turned around and saw a squirrel on his window sill. The furry rodent was staring lustfully at the open jar of peanut butter on the table.

Their bullets took his best friend in Saigon
Our lawyers took his wife and kids, no regrets
In a time I don't remember, in a war he can't forget
He cried "Forgive me for what I've done there
Cause I never meant the things I did"

And give me something to believe in if there's a Lord above
And give me something to believe in Oh, Lord arise

The squirrel jumped down from the window, catching the scent of an open jar of the same brown goo in the trash. Tom dug out a clean spoon and picked at the peanut butter. He had no appetite, though. He buried his head in his arms.

My best friend died a lonely man
In some Palm Springs hotel room
I got the call last Christmas Eve
And they told me the news

Hanson moaned quietly when his mind flashed back to his most recent case. Locking his best friend in the equipment cage at Lincoln High. "Oh, Doug," Tom whimpered. He fingered a bruise on his face, the result of a mob of teens holding down and beating him. Tom shivered, despite the stuffy air in the apartment.

I tried all night not to break down and cry
As the tears rolled down my face
I felt so cold and empty
Like a lost soul out of place
And the mirror mirror on the wall sees my smile it fades again

Sometimes I wish to God I didn't know now
The things I didn't know then road you gotta take me home

Suddenly, the trash cans below his window clattered to the ground. Tom grabbed his gun and dashed out on to his balcony. He fired his gun, the noise drowned out by a passing car with a dead muffler and in some serious need of engine work. The bullet hit the ground next to the car, scaring the alley cat inside the can.

I drive by the homeless sleeping on a cold dark street
Like bodies in an open grave
Underneath the broken old neon sign
That used to read JESUS SAVES

Tom backed into the living room, shaken. It had been so easy to shoot at that cat. He sat on his couch and put the gun into his mouth. He cocked the trigger. His mind flashed back to seeing Doug after being released from jail, then to that night in the park when the two had talked.

A mile away live the rich folks
And I see how they're living it up
While the poor they eat from hand to mouth
The rich is drinkin' from a golden cup
And it just makes me wonder why so many lose, so few win

His mind saw Judy and Ioki, recently back on the job after almost dying. Booker, who had quit the force rather than be a clerk. And Fuller, always the father all of them wished they had when they were growing up. Jenko's ghost shimmered into Hanson's muddled thoughts.

"Jenk," Tom whispered around the barrel of the gun. Then, another ghost, this one older and far more familiar hovered above Tom's coffee table.

Sport...

"Dad!" Tom let the gun drop from his hand. It discharged it's loaded bullet, the projectile slamming into a picture taken of the Jump Street Cops last Christmas. The bullet landed right in Tom's heart.

Tom ran out of the apartment. His mind was blank as he ran past the park and up a hill guarded by wrought iron gates. White Chapel Cemetery. He slipped through the gates as they were closing. He found the two graves, side by side. Captain Richard Jenko and his father, Officer Thomas Jack Hanson Senior. Next to his father's grave lay two empty plots, one for his mother and one for himself.

Tom sat in between the two grave stones and shivered as night finally fell on the city. He finally let his tears flow and a strange resolve built up in his withered spirit.

You take the high road and I'll take the low road

Sometimes I wish to God I didn't know now
The things I didn't know then
And give me something to believe in

 

The End